Yes, I know...you don't need to say it, I can feel it all over already. I have been on hiatus the last couple of weeks.
What's been going on? Countrywide just had a massive lay-off of over 12,000 people and I guess I was part of their first draft.
How did it happen? My boss called me at exactly 1:30pm and said, "Tam, there's an important meeting that you need to attend around 2pm in conference room 2C." Seriously, at that moment I knew it right there I was going to be laid off with all the talk going around. Once I clicked on the phone, it was Tricia on the other line. Isn't it funny how God works? To have her right there when I clicked over. I felt a sense of emotions built up in me and I heard her say, "Tam, why are you quiet? Is everything okay." Gosh, it was one of those moments where you are trying to hold in your emotions and talk at the same time, so only jargon came out. Then, I was able to muster, "No, I think I got laid off...I'm suppose to report to a conference room soon."
I think she heard me tearing up and she just told me, "Tam, don't show them your emotions. Hold it in." Instantly, after hearing her words I snapped out of it and realized I was still in the office and I'm not going to let anyone see my at that state. I prepared my email to send off to my friends and contacts that have my work address so it would be ready for me to send off indicating my new contact info. I figure they can figure the rest out, I don't need to lay out the whole enchillada at that given point.
I went into the conference room and one by one, about half of my department came in along with other workers from various divisions. I came to perspective when I saw new parents and single mothers in the room. It was really sad. Some were crying because they did not know what to do with their dependents in their life. I felt really bad. Then, the board came in to make the announcement that as of the next day, we are no longer an employee of Countrywide, however, we will provide you a severance to let you know that we are sorry for this downturn in the market.
I packed up my desk and said my goodbye's. I think the hardest part was when people would feel bad for me. It makes it easier for me to contain my emotions when they appear that everything is going to be okay. It was the heartfelt hugs where I felt my eyes glazed.
Everything happens for a reason and I'm glad they let me go now. Seriously, it's like the feeling of being on a ship. I rather have them let me go so I can swim, then keep me hanging on till they are ready to let me go.
So yeah, I'm totally back in the market right now. No rush since this severance is like a mini-vacation =) I get into my pity party moments about not having a job and poor Greg has to hear it, but then he snaps me out of it and tells me to quit and that no one wants to join my party =) Oh, I love him...he's so great.