Being Present with the Moment...
After coming home from Vegas this past weekend, I had a lot of time to think about my life in general. At first, I was worried thinking that I might be commitment phobic and always having an expiration date when it comes to relationships. All of a sudden, I got the jitters and my whole life flashed right before my eyes. I questioned my behavior because Greg is a wonderful boyfriend and I have no qualms about him at all. He's open, honest, loving, caring, and sensitive...but why was I feeling nervous? I guess I started realizing how serious our relationship was becoming and maybe I've been burned before so I wanted to take my steps a little slower this time around.
I thought about it and rationalizing every possible outcome before discussing it with Greg. Why get us both frantic right? Then after discussing my feelings out to my close friends, I came to the realization the next morning. It was because I've been missing Greg. We have been both busy on different levels and haven't had the opportunity to spend quality time nor speak on the phone. When we do speak on the phone, it was not any full on conversation, but just to catch up on what we're doing and then continue with our daily life. We were never present in the moment. It made me miss the beginning of our relationship, how it was so exciting and passionate and how we were always present with each other.
Luckily, I am blessed with great friends who pushed me to discuss this with Greg and I am also blessed with a great guy, who is always open to listen to me. Greg agreed with how I've been feeling too and he made a good point too. As couples, we should be progressing with each other, not just become comfortable and stagnant. We have to spend time with each other and have activities we can enjoy together. It made me feel better that we were both on the same page with things and being able to have this off my chest. I was petrified about the married life because of what they show in the movies and what not. In the end, I think communication is key in life. I sometimes think that some of my past mistakes would never had happened if I discussed it with my girlfriends. Now I know, to speak and seek advice. I can't be going on this journey alone and I'm starting to learn as I get older, it's okay to ask for help.
So to my family, friends, and Greggy...I love you and grateful to have you in my life.