Hazy

As I was laying down to rest, the song,"Hazy," by Rosi Golan whispered into the studio. My thoughts traced back to the year 2005, when I was working in New York City as an equity trader. At the age of 25, I was contemplating whether if this career was meant for me and if I could see myself in this profession for the rest of my life. Commuting to work by train and walking from New Jersey for about 45 minutes each way, I had a great deal of time to pray and think about my situation. A career in finance was something I knew and experienced, I was afraid of letting go and venturing into a new vocation with no idea of how things might turn out.

In the aspect of love, Greg and I were friends. However, we were curious if our relationship could possibly unfold into a future together. Our conversations went back and forth of being and not being together. At the time, I was afraid of losing my friendship with Greg if we were to give it a chance. We knew how to be friends, but did we know how to be together? It was his vision or idea of what we could possibly be and it was me, fearing that I might disappoint and turn him away.

Time allows consciousness...

One cold, brisk Sunday morning, I stopped my tracks and decided to call Greg in the middle of Union Square.

"Hey Greg, how are you?"

"I'm good...and you?"

"Doing good too...I just had brunch with Ruby and wanted to call you to talk to about something."

"Sure...what's up?"

"Remember your comment about forty years from now and how you do not want to regret not knowing what could possibly happen to us? I don't think I can go on and think about the what if's even if I'm unsure how things are going to turn out. I want us to have a chance this lifetime or it'll be something I'll regret for the rest of my life..."